Finding Your Spirit by Ernest Holliday

I opened my eyes to see a fairly white room, with lots of equipment around me. I’m sitting in front of a bed that was fully made and now this is where I become confused because I have no idea, where on the world I was. Well right next to me were two large windows and a single door on the other side, and It looks just like a hospital. So now I’m really worried, what must have happened, why am I in a hospital and why aren’t in the bed. Outside the door are a bunch of people, doctors, and nurse just roaming around going about their lives.

“ May I help you ? ” a nurse asks

“Ah yes...uh... can you tell why I’m here” I asks

“May I help you is there anything you need? ” She repeats

“Yes I asked if..”  I begin to say before I’m cut short by some man coming from behind me

“ Yes! can you can you direct me to where the ice chips are” He says frantically

The nurse just chuckles and guides him toward the ice chips, totally ignoring that I exist. I walk around and come across this sign that says “Maternity Ward” and I say

“ Isn’t this the place women go when in labor. I me there is definitely no way that I’m in labor, nor my mom.”

I begin to ask everyone i see questions but every pretends like they don’t see me. I pass through all the rooms on the floor and the lower ones hoping to find anyone I know, anyone in my family.  I finally decide to walk out the the door and go home. I can’t be too far from home right, and once I’m there I can talk to my parents and ask them why the hell I’m in  hospital, lying on the  floor of a maternity ward.

But what’s the point scream and judgement they probably blame this whole situation on me.... Oh who am I kidding it probably is my fault.

The big rectangle sign sticking on the garden read “ Queens Medical Center” .  At this point I could just give up. Cause now I’m really scared. I have no idea what I’m doing in Queens, how did I get here all the way from the Bronx.  I should settle down I mean It isn’t that far from home. The sky becomes dark and heavy rain starts to fall.  When I’m in the subway to try and get home I realize I have just enough cash to make there.

“Ex...excuse me..me sir c..can I have a card for two rides please.” soaking wet I, shiver as I deliver my question.

the man with the navy blue transit uniform sitting in his booth with snot dripping down his big pimpled nose just stares at me. And not Just at its like he’s looking straight through.

“ Ex..excuse me is there a problem,” I raise my voice “ I just want a metrocard, please”

The man blinks  a few times and then turns to his coworker and says “Wow what a boring day, I can’t wait for retirement.”

“ Hello! I just want a card please” I said louder than ever before

So then i just give and and slip through without any body noticing, a then I got on the train and headed home. On the Train I started to realize how empty I felt, and something wasn’t the same and I knew this had something to do with why i felt that everyone was ignoring me.  

I just lost after the nurse and the transit guy I wanted to know why I was being ignored, I started making my self obvious trying to get attention. But nothing, I got nothing nobody was able to see me.

As began to walk home I started to feel more and more isolated. I now felt like i was invisible, i now knew that i was invisible. But I had no idea why, and I was determined to find out.

Only to add on for some reason being isolated from the world around me, I began to appreciate the little things in my neighborhood. Like the the flowers or the smiles on the faces of the people who would pass by me. I know that it sounds cheesy but that is just the overwhelming feeling that i felt.

“Yes officer I just found her body there, lying on the floor” my mother cried

“ I”m sorry for your lost Ms. Baker” The officer said

I saw this conversation between my mom and a police officer as i made into my apartment, making my through the large crowd of people and police officers  gather outside of my building.

This what broke my streak of feeling good. I mean I was feeling good for a while but when I came home to find this, it just set me into reality. I walked passed the converstation between my mom and an officer. I walked passed many lines of yellow tape, to find me, to find my dead body.

And thats when you came in.

“Well I am Your guardian Angel. That is when I am supposed to come in.”  the angel stated.

“ Where do I go from here. Is this where I enter Heaven , or...you know ?”  Abigail anxiously asked.

“Oh Abigail I can’t tell you that not now at least but finding your body isn’t engough you need to become enlightened.” the angel replied.

“But how will I know when I become “enlightened”. ” Abigail mocked

“Oh you will know when it happens, it would be one of the best feelings that you will ever have.” The angel said as she vanishes.

“oh this is just bull...” Abigail shouted.